Javan's Baby Dedication

On Saturday it was a special day for Bayu and I: it was Javan's dedication. Pastor Johnny said a few words and before the prayer with his wife abd elders Bayu and I read a poem entitled My Sweet Child from unveiledwife.com. 

First I said a few words : 

Now bayu and i are going to read a poem entitled our sweet child by jennifer smith. 

We are celebrating this dedication because it is the opportunity we can 

Publicly declare our intentions to raise javan in a christian home. This day and The words in this poem  is a benchmark we can turn to time and time again. We want to commit ourselves to abide by biblical principles and to raise javan according to God's standards. 

Here is the poem read alternately between the both of us:

We bought a tin of Famous Amos cookies to celebrate :P

 

Oh yeah and dressed him for the occasion too. :D 

Long Distance Devotion

We had devotion with Haz and Amonch a few night before our holiday was over.

Too Much to be Thankful For

Cheers to 2013.  I love my man and looking forward to meeting my little man in 2014.

For the Record - New Year's Eve 2013

Bayu and I are spending New Year's Eve at home.  We have currently been residing in the guest room because the master bedroom's aircon is spoiled.

Today I was craving Japanese curry and so he cooked that for me and even had it over Japanese rice.

We had a little devotion and discussed the Passover in Exodus.  After that we started reflecting our time/life here in Singapore since our first house in Clementi.

We also tried to remember what we did each year for New Year's since we got married.  We then got onto my blog and looked back on what we did!  See it pays to have a blog indeed!

We said a prayer together.  We have really been blessed and have seen God work in our life through the ups and downs.

We said a special prayer for next year we will be embarking on a journey we have never embarked on before - parenthood.

I don't have any New Year's resolutions.  Being a parent/mom is going to be so new I don't know what to resolutionise as a parent haha.

But I think as much as possible I want to get back to my running again, continue to build my relationship with God.

As uncertain as next year looks I know it's going to be a year full of hope!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

For a special treat I made chia seed pudding for Bayu and I.  I will post a recipe on this.  It's really easy and yummy and heallthy!

5 minutes into countdown we hopped into bed.  Cuddled in the blanket and I found a website that would countdown to neew year.  We count down together.  Said happy new year! Gave a kiss and nyt nyt! hahahah simple but special :P

5 Years Away

On Friday night I got up to pee (as is so common in pregnancy) around 2am in the morning.  It was hard to get back to sleep (common also!) so I decided to write out what I would say for our testimonial Sabbath.  I knew it was the end of the year testimony Sabbath and I couldn't let the year go by without going up and sharing about God's love and goodness.  I had been feeling depressed (pregnancy hormones definitely to blame).  Because it had been 5 years since I left Thailand and my family.   A lot of times here in Singapore have been really lonely for me and I have always prayed for friends.  Anyways, here is what I shared that Sabbath morning.  It was really embarrassing  because I cried a lot while up front.  Oh well...haha.  Despite everything I cannot deny God's love, goodness and faithfulness.

5 years ago today. I moved to Singapore.  It was one of the hardest things for me to do - leaving behind all that I had known and love.

I came here not knowing what my future would hold.  Would I ever get a proper pass to live in this country?  Would I be jobless forever?  Would I get used to this place, people & culture?  Would I have any friends?

It turns out I did get my pass (dependent pass). I did get a job and held 2 passes (dependent & work permit). I got used to Singapore and learned to enjoy the food, malls, parks.  I knew this place even better than Bangkok. I did make friends in unexpected ways and places.

Then. I started to wonder if I could survive the stress of my job.  How could all the bills and expenses be paid with my pay which is less than what I would get paid in Thailand.  Would I ever get to make use of my degree which took me 4 years to get??  And still would I ever have any friends?

Almost 4 years into my job I did not get fired. I haven't gone hungry or kicked out of our house for not being able to pay the bills. I enjoy teaching preschool children and have gained experience in ways I could not have gained anywhere else.  I have made life long friends even though most of them eventually leave.

I have a blog (a journal that is online) in which I write down different experiences in my life. I started writing in it since 2008. This week i just looked back on it and I have seen my worries and how things have turned out even though I couldn't tell at that time how things would turn out.

It reminded me of a quote by Mark Twain "I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."

For me, I can say personally that all my worries didn't happen because God has had a plan and has guided me all along. I have seen him work miracles and open ways and work things out. Over and over again I want to knock myself on the head because I should have known I could bring it to God and he would indeed answer my prayers.  Time and time again I have caused sleepless nights and sickness that were unnecessary because even if I couldn't see it in that moment He was there all along working things out.

My life has always been and I have a feeling will continue to be like a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs. My one constant and my one best friend has been Bayu. He has been so patient with me and does all he can because he wants to see me happy. Then I think, if Bayu who is a human can love and care for me and want me to be happy how much more God whose love is higher,wider and deeper than the sky, universe or ocean?

Today I can't say I have no worries. That would be a huge lie.  In fact, I'm going through another phase of questions and doubts and fears about my life and the future. Can we make it on one income next year? How am I going to raise a child? Will I have to have a c-section? Will I have a friend that stays longer? And the list of questions go on.

I will leave this pulpit this morning and this year 2013 with these questions in my mind but I will be leaving with hope in my heart. I cannot discern the future but I have seen God work in my life for the past 5 years here. He won't be stopping there. I just need to look back at his word at how he's been there for my family and not forget what he has done. I will cling to him despite all my doubts and I know one day I will testify once again of his goodness and faithfulness in my life.

Why did Jesus have to die??

I was reading Steps to Christ chapter 1 when I came across Isaiah 53 - how Jesus was misunderstood just like he is today and yet he still loves us.

It made me ask the question "Why did Jesus have to die?"

I found this page on a website with an extract from CS Lewis' Mere Christianity in which CS Lewis explains the atonement.

What really struck me was this:

"Only a bad person needs to repent: only a good person can repent perfectly. The worse you are the more you need it and the less you can do it. The only person who could do it perfectly would be a perfect person - and he would not need it."

Here is the whole extract.

I read this, I thought about it. I read Isaiah 53 over and over again.

I was also reminded that God did not love us because Jesus died for us but he loved us so much He send Jesus to die for us.

As I really think about and meditate on what I have read (especially Isaiah 53) I can't help being in awe all over again by how much I am loved.

Who am I? (Hebrews 2:6)

And I just want to praise him and no better words can be used like Psalms145.

Life Goals 2013

Haha I'm posting like it was use New Years yesterday. But it's never too late to make goals for myself I must say.

This year I would really like to work on having at least 1 hour dedicated to Bible study EVERYDAY.

I can say I do spend lots of time talking to God but learning his word is another thing.

Also I want to be more positive.

Of course this is not just for 2013 but for as long as I shall live.

Now why am I announcing this??? Well, I'm using you guys as my accountability. I feel like when I write this down then I really gotta do it! I know myself...

I can't get started if I'm still blogging though .. So laterz!

That's just me...

Before Now

After all these years...God has led me to the right Dr to help me with my acne fighting.   The first shot was taken around March this year I believe and the second one 2 weeks ago.  I was wearing makeup in the second picture but you don't see any bumps right??? and also I've grown alot tanner because I've been running in the sun so much.  Thank you Lord for my face with no acne pain and for my running tan!

?

Have you really thought what it was like and what it meant formJesus to die on the cross for us?

I think His love is so amazing.

Plans

Never say never remember?

I said I would never home school my kids... But now deep in my heart of hearts I would love to homeschool my future children.

I need to pray alot for sure. Not just about this but about planning for a family.

Just going all out my dream of dreams is to have 3 children close of age that I would home school and who will always love, serve and obey God.

Hehehe....

Grace by Laura Story

Grace lyrics

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I
have done. And now You gently break me, then lovingly
You take me and hold me as my father and mold me as my
maker.

Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I
keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far
will forgiveness abound?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in
the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged,
knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You?I know I don't deserve You.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me
hanging on.

Chorus*
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I
keep on letting you down?
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/laura-story-lyrics/grace-lyrics.html]
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far
will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in
the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really
means. The price that I could never pay was paid at
Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm
learning to simply obey You
by giving up my life to you For all that You've given
to me.

Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I
keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far
will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in
the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace.

Quote

I think this is a really nice an true quote.

Quote of the Day

This quote really applies to me especially when I remember all those exams I had to take in school and now all the responsibilities and tasks given to me at work.

There have been times I really though what I was asked was impossible!

But I know and I thank God that he has seen me through and so many times the impossible has become possible.

I just need to keep positive and do this by looking back on those times when I was able to pass through things I thought was too tough :D

Like a River

My devotion for this morning was about how the little stuff matters. I am reading from the EGW App. The devotional book is "That I May Know Him"

Do not underrate the importance of little things because they are little. By action and reaction these little defects accumulate and bind themselves together like rods of steel. That little action, that unguarded word, repeated, becomes habit, ... and habit constitutes character.... – {TMK 209.4}

As drops of water make the river, so little things make up life. Life is a river, peaceful, calm, and enjoyable, or it is a troubled river, always casting up mire and dirt. – {TMK 209.6}

Today

Today.
I woke up.
I went to work.
I ate.
I taught.
I bought groceries.
I laughed.
I worked out.
I ate fruits.
I relaxed on my sofa.

Today was just an ordinary day.  But because of that I thank God for life.

Spiritual Relapse...Again?!

This is what I wanted to share with you for quite some time based on my discovery from:
-Matthew 12:43-45
-Desire of Ages ch. 33 by Ellen G. White

I never really understood that passage but after reading DA ch 33 it has given me a better insight and a deeper self-reflection on my part.

In my 26 years of being a Christian there has been a certain pattern of my spiritual journey - up and down.

For me some ups and downs were so extreme. For example, I would be so enthusiastic and gung-ho in church, in activities and feeling so "high" and happy and "close" to God. Then a few weeks later I would feel so down in the dumps and so far from God.

It was so frustrating I just couldn't understand myself! I couldn't wrap my finger around what made me this way.

I prayed sincerely to God to help me see what I was doing wrong and what could I do to avoid such a spiritual downfall.

I was getting to the point where I was thinking "what's the point of trying. What's the point of getting active in my spiritual life when it will all come crumbling down again. "

Then I read the passage in Matthew 12:43-45 and and also the insights from DA Made the passage clearer.

Matthew 12:
43“When an unclean spirit goes out of a person,it passes through waterless places looking for rest but does not find it.
44Then it says, ‘I will return to the home I left.’ When it returns, it finds the house empty, swept clean, and put in order.
45Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and live there, so the last state of that person is worse than the first. It will be that way for this evil generation as well!”

Desire of Ages:
There were many in Christ’s day, as there are today, over whom the control of Satan for the time seemed broken; through the grace of God they were set free from the evil spirits that had held dominion over the soul. They rejoiced in the love of God; but, like the stony-ground hearers of the parable, they did not abide in His love. They did not surrender themselves to God daily, that Christ might dwell in the heart; and when the evil spirit returned, with “seven other spirits more wicked than himself,” they were wholly dominated by the power of evil. – {DA 323.3}

My Reflction:
Why and how did the evil spirits return? "They did not surrender themselves to God DAILY, that Christ may dwell in their heart."

During my "high" time of my spiritual life did I continue to surrender to God daily? Did I pray, read his word, spend time with him everyday? NO I did not.

Desire of Ages:
When the soul surrenders itself to Christ, a new power takes possession of the new heart. A change is wrought which man can never accomplish for himself. It is a supernatural work, bringing a supernatural element into human nature. The soul that is yielded to Christ becomes His own fortress, which He holds in a revolted world, and He intends that no authority shall be known in it but His own. A soul thus kept in possession by the heavenly agencies is impregnable to the assaults of Satan. But unless we do yield ourselves to the control of Christ, we shall be dominated by the wicked one. We must inevitably be under the control of the one or the other of the two great powers that are contending for the supremacy of the world. It is not necessary for us deliberately to choose the service of the kingdom of darkness in order to come under its dominion. We have only to neglect to ally ourselves with the kingdom of light. If we do not co-operate with the heavenly agencies, Satan will take possession of the heart, and will make it his abiding place. The only defense against evil is the indwelling of Christ in the heart through faith in His righteousness. Unless we become vitally connected with God, we can never resist the unhallowed effects of self-love, self-indulgence, and temptation to sin.
{DA 324.1}

My Reflection:
It's true. I might not purposely choose Satan but when I do not keep that connection with God then I leave room for evil to enter my heart and mind.... Hence the downward spiral! * duh lightbulb moment for me*

Desire of Ages:
We may leave off many bad habits, for the time we may part company with Satan; but without a vital connection with God, through the surrender of ourselves to Him moment by moment, we shall be overcome. Without a personal acquaintance with Christ, and a continual communion, we are at the mercy of the enemy, and shall do his bidding in the end. – {DA 324.1}

I have found the answers to my questions. It's not going to be easy but I want to try my best, only with God's help and strength, to have a continual communion with God.

I'm not looking to feel spiritually "high" all the time because that is also not realistic and falling from a high place is painful. but I believe I won't fall so far and I will find that peace I have been looking for.

Thank You God

On the last day in Taiwan at around 9 am while we were having our devotion we suddenly felt giddy and looked up to see the lamps and chandeliers swaying and we ourselves swaying. It was ever so lightly but we could see an feel the earthquake.

Later we learnt that elsewhere in Taiwan there was a 4.5 earthquake and were just feeling the tremors of it.

Then when I was on the plane waiting for take off an officer came to me and lo and behold he was holding my pouch which I didn't even know had fallen out of my bag. Inside was some money my identification card and my Singapore sim card.

I gave a sincere prayer of thanks to God for really making sure and cared lenough for me to have a safe and good trip from beginning to end.

Sharing My Morning Devotion

EGW Devotional: Our Father Cares
Time for Meditation
April 11

But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. Psalm 1:2. – {OFC 98.2}

Your last thought at night, your first thought in the morning, should be of Him in whom is centered your hope of eternal life. – {OFC 98.3}

Many seem to begrudge moments spent in meditation, and the searching of the Scriptures, and prayer, as though the time thus occupied was lost. I wish you could all view these things in the light God would have you; for you would then make the kingdom of heaven of the first importance.... As exercise increases the appetite, and gives strength and healthy vigor to the body, so will devotional exercises bring an increase of grace and spiritual vigor. – {OFC 98.4}

The affections should center upon God. Contemplate His greatness, His mercy and excellences. Let His goodness and love and perfection of character captivate your heart. Converse upon His divine charms, and the heavenly mansions He is preparing for the faithful. He whose conversation is in heaven, is the most profitable Christian to all around him. His words are useful and refreshing. They have a transforming power upon those who hear them. – {OFC 98.5}

There is constant need of private communion with God. We must take in the spirit of Christ if we would impart it to others. We cannot meet satanic and human agencies combined unless we spend much time in intercourse with the Source of all strength. There are times when we should get away from the sounds of earthly toil and human voices, and in retired places listen to the voice of Jesus. Thus we may taste of His love and imbibe His spirit. Thus we shall learn to crucify self. This course of action may seem impossible to the human mind. “I have not time,” you may say. But when you consider the matter as it really is, you lose no time; for when you secure the power and grace that come alone from God, you do not accomplish the work. It is Jesus who is the real worker. “Without me,” says Christ, “ye can do nothing.” John 15:5.... Reflection and earnest prayer will inspire to holy endeavor. – {OFC 98.6}