Spiritual Relapse...Again?!

This is what I wanted to share with you for quite some time based on my discovery from:
-Matthew 12:43-45
-Desire of Ages ch. 33 by Ellen G. White

I never really understood that passage but after reading DA ch 33 it has given me a better insight and a deeper self-reflection on my part.

In my 26 years of being a Christian there has been a certain pattern of my spiritual journey - up and down.

For me some ups and downs were so extreme. For example, I would be so enthusiastic and gung-ho in church, in activities and feeling so "high" and happy and "close" to God. Then a few weeks later I would feel so down in the dumps and so far from God.

It was so frustrating I just couldn't understand myself! I couldn't wrap my finger around what made me this way.

I prayed sincerely to God to help me see what I was doing wrong and what could I do to avoid such a spiritual downfall.

I was getting to the point where I was thinking "what's the point of trying. What's the point of getting active in my spiritual life when it will all come crumbling down again. "

Then I read the passage in Matthew 12:43-45 and and also the insights from DA Made the passage clearer.

Matthew 12:
43“When an unclean spirit goes out of a person,it passes through waterless places looking for rest but does not find it.
44Then it says, ‘I will return to the home I left.’ When it returns, it finds the house empty, swept clean, and put in order.
45Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they go in and live there, so the last state of that person is worse than the first. It will be that way for this evil generation as well!”

Desire of Ages:
There were many in Christ’s day, as there are today, over whom the control of Satan for the time seemed broken; through the grace of God they were set free from the evil spirits that had held dominion over the soul. They rejoiced in the love of God; but, like the stony-ground hearers of the parable, they did not abide in His love. They did not surrender themselves to God daily, that Christ might dwell in the heart; and when the evil spirit returned, with “seven other spirits more wicked than himself,” they were wholly dominated by the power of evil. – {DA 323.3}

My Reflction:
Why and how did the evil spirits return? "They did not surrender themselves to God DAILY, that Christ may dwell in their heart."

During my "high" time of my spiritual life did I continue to surrender to God daily? Did I pray, read his word, spend time with him everyday? NO I did not.

Desire of Ages:
When the soul surrenders itself to Christ, a new power takes possession of the new heart. A change is wrought which man can never accomplish for himself. It is a supernatural work, bringing a supernatural element into human nature. The soul that is yielded to Christ becomes His own fortress, which He holds in a revolted world, and He intends that no authority shall be known in it but His own. A soul thus kept in possession by the heavenly agencies is impregnable to the assaults of Satan. But unless we do yield ourselves to the control of Christ, we shall be dominated by the wicked one. We must inevitably be under the control of the one or the other of the two great powers that are contending for the supremacy of the world. It is not necessary for us deliberately to choose the service of the kingdom of darkness in order to come under its dominion. We have only to neglect to ally ourselves with the kingdom of light. If we do not co-operate with the heavenly agencies, Satan will take possession of the heart, and will make it his abiding place. The only defense against evil is the indwelling of Christ in the heart through faith in His righteousness. Unless we become vitally connected with God, we can never resist the unhallowed effects of self-love, self-indulgence, and temptation to sin.
{DA 324.1}

My Reflection:
It's true. I might not purposely choose Satan but when I do not keep that connection with God then I leave room for evil to enter my heart and mind.... Hence the downward spiral! * duh lightbulb moment for me*

Desire of Ages:
We may leave off many bad habits, for the time we may part company with Satan; but without a vital connection with God, through the surrender of ourselves to Him moment by moment, we shall be overcome. Without a personal acquaintance with Christ, and a continual communion, we are at the mercy of the enemy, and shall do his bidding in the end. – {DA 324.1}

I have found the answers to my questions. It's not going to be easy but I want to try my best, only with God's help and strength, to have a continual communion with God.

I'm not looking to feel spiritually "high" all the time because that is also not realistic and falling from a high place is painful. but I believe I won't fall so far and I will find that peace I have been looking for.