Of Course!

Last night Bayu told me that he will be coming to Thailand on December 15 and leaving back to Singapore on December 23. The Mission was kind enough to grant him his leave even though hasn't worked there for a year yet.

So basically, December 23 is the date that I will be leaving Thailand. I knew I'd be leaving but I didn't know exactly when. When I finally found out that it would be December 23 it finally struck me that I'm leaving...really really leaving!!

The night before I also had a dream that it was the wedding day and after the wedding I was so sad because everyone in my dream was saying goodnight and it's time to go to bed now and in the dream I realized that I won't be sleeping with Hazel anymore I'll be sleeping with someone else! And I was crying and crying in my dream that when I woke up I felt depressed! Haha. It's just because Hazel and I are really close sisters and we've shared the same room and same bed and sometimes the same pillow for all our lives. We even have this tradition that we always hold hands while sleeping even until this day.

So yes the fact that I finally found out when I would be leaving actually got me depressed last night. And I was like "oh man I'm not going to enjoy this Sabbath day for sure. I was looking forward to SML and Newsong but now I'll probably just be depressed!"

I didn't just lie in bed and do nothing though. I got up and went to SML and to Newsong and I told myself that I'll go and hopefully God can still speak to me despite me thinking that today will not be a good day.

Well, now it's 11. 40 Pm on Saturday. SML and Newsong has come and gone but my feeling of misery from this morning is gone like the morning mist. And now my heart is once again filled with God's love and reassurance which brings happiness along with it. What was I thinking? OF COURSE God won't just leave me alone and let me be miserable. Thanks God. I love you!